Tune in with me on Episode 3 of the To Be Free podcast where I share my personal experience healing my own fear of speaking my truth, and I share the most effective way to overcome your fear of speaking your truth. When you’re not speaking your truth, you’re not living your truth. Let your voice be heard!
Podcast Show Notes: (this written blog has been translated from the recording so please excuse any typos or grammatical errors).
This week I feel inspired to talk about the fear of speaking our truth and sharing our authentic expression with the world. It’s that fear of being seen & heard for who we truly are.
And this is something that holds us back from our higher calling and our radically-aligned-freedom because…
If you’re not embodying & expressing your authentic self, you’re not free.
If you’re not speaking your truth from your heart & soul… you’re not free.
If you’re not following your higher calling because of the fear of being seen for who you authentically are and what you stand for… you’re not free
And if you aren’t speaking your truth because of your fear of judgment or disapproval… you’re not free.
Authenticity is the gateway to freedom. To be real with ourselves and real with others. This includes SPEAKING OUR TRUTH! When we suppress our truth, and our authentic voice … we suppress our calling, our gifts, and our wisdom. We suppress our Soul.
This is such a passionate topic for me because this is something I have been healing for several years now. This podcast in itself is part of my healing journey. Speaking my truth & aligning with my mission is so deliciously freeeeing and expansive. I am liberating myself through this process.
As I mentioned in the last episode, this podcast is something that has been calling me for a few years .. I first heard the call to start a podcast in 2020 when I first started my mentoring business. I craved to share my voice, stories, and heart-wisdom outloud. But, at the same time, I was letting this fear of being heard, being seen, and then being judged and misunderstood hold me back.
You know… when you really immerse yourself in the healing journey, you begin to realize how much resistance we can create in our very own lives when we focus on what other people will think of us, or how others will perceive us instead of how we perceive ourselves and being true to ourselves.
Honestly, There were so so many times in the past that I literally wouldn’t do something my heart was yearning to do or express what I desired to express because of fear of judgment, disapproval, ridicule or rejection. But now, I am not letting those fears stop me. I am activating my inner power and conquering them. I am now prioritizing how I show up for myself and how I perceive myself. I am validating MYSELF. I approve of myself fully, and I’m doing what I AM CALLED TO DO. I am my own #1 hype girl! And it feels glorious!!!
My friends, we have to hype ourselves up and stop holding ourselves back because of the fear of other people’s judgments and disempowering projections.
We have to stop rejecting ourselves out of the fear of rejection.
What I know through many authentic conversations with clients and soul sisters is that this is actually a very common fear and block that we all have. We all carry this fear… but just to varying degrees and in different aspects. For those of you who are on your awakening journey… from my own experience, this fear gets illuminated as you begin healing, going deeper into your shadow and tapping into higher levels of consciousness. You get to a point where you are craving to speak your truth and unsuppress those facets of yourself yearning to be expressed. You’re called to share your wisdom with the world and serve your mission.
But then… you go to share something really meaningful/raw/real/vulnerable, and you feel a super heavy energy holding you back; you feel anxious and you feel a density. You just can’t seem to do it. Or, you do but while fighting sooo much inner resistance. And you’re look hmmm has this block always been here? The answer is yes, it has… but now its making itself so known because you want to share the real you – your heart – your soul, your truth. Not the surface level you trying to put up a facade or fit a mold. So you become super conscious of this block and it feels like an anchor that needs to be lifted.
And I have been there. I still feel this anchor sometimes. I am called to share how I have been lifting these anchors and overcoming this fear so that I can be seen and heard for who I truly am, embody my dharma, and serve my mission.
BUT… let’s first talk about where these FEARS and BLOCKS come from. When are these fears born and how do they hold such a GRIP on us? & Why do so many of us carry all this FEAR and WORRY and ANXIETY around speaking our TRUTH and showing up as our TRUE UNFILTERED SELF? Why do we care so much about what other people think about us and how they perceive us?? Why do so many of us NOT follow our higher calling or greatest desires because we fear judgment or disapproval?
Well, let’s go back to childhood where it all begins. I have done a lot of deep healing and reflection around this, and this is what I have unveiled…
When we’re really really young kids, we have no filter, no censor, and we speak and feel from our hearts and souls. When we find our voice for the first time when we are a toddler, we sing our song from the rooftops. We do not care about what other people think of us. We don’t even know what external judgment or validation is yet. We speak our truth in confidence. Even when it’s totally offensive or totally bossy… we all know toddlers say it how it IS… in which we do have to be taught basic etiquette on how to be respectful. But, even when we’re bossy, our personality shines because we are so unfiltered and so authentic and so true to ourselves. We’re also so imaginative & intuitive. We haven’t experienced the blocks and constriction of societal conditioning + programming yet. As young kids, we are authentically, organically, uniquely exactly who we are, who we are born to be, and thus, we shine brightly. We glow.
But then we go through our adolescence and we move through the third dimensional human experience where we experience the entire spectrum of dense energies all around us. We experience judgment, ridicule, bullying, we are made fun of, we’re scolded, we experience embarrassment and shame. We’re told we’re “too much” and then we experience not-enoughness. We start to heavily tune into the energies of disapproval, invalidation, and rejection… and we feel the pain of it. We feel the heavy undesirable emotions oscillating within us that come along with those energies and it hurts; it feels like the opposite of love.
Its just too heavy on our hearts. So, as we get older it begins to feels safer to filter, censor, pretend, hide, or stay quiet just to avoid that pain. All of this creates an energetic veil around us covering our true glowey nature. We dim our own light to fit in. We begin to suppress the truth of who we truly are and how we truly feel in exchange for approval. In which we now associate approval…
To our young hearts, approval seems to equal love … & acceptance … and LOVE & acceptance is our safety… it’s what we seek. As humans, we are naturally wired for love & acceptance as a survival mechanism. Our nervous systems and ego are wired to keep us safe and part of the tribe, part of the pack. But most of us are experiencing this wiring on such an intense level ~ like over drive ~ because we have been so deeply conditioned and programmed to seek approval and validation to feel this love and acceptance. Our nervous system is now wired this way…
Approval has become our safety.
So of course it can feel so unsafe and scary to be our true selves and speak our authentic truth. Our nervous system is wired for safety through external approval and any disapproval feels like the opposite of love and feels unsafe.
So now, as adults, we carry these collective fears of disapproval, rejection, judgment and invalidation… or even PERSECUTION. So we people please, we avoid confrontation, we play pretend, we censor and filter ourselves, we wear facades, and we choose to do and say things just to get people to like us and gain their approval. We suppress our true voice and true feelings to feel safe. To feel loved.
And now on top of that — right now in this moment in time — our nervous systems are tuning outwards and like screaming at us that IT ISN’T SAFE TO SPEAK OUR TRUTH because we are living in a pretty judgmental society. I mean look around, my goodness! The brutal judgment, the persecuting, the cancel culture, the finger pointing witch hunts … the “take her not me, turn against her, she’s the witch”. It’s so harsh and so vicious.
And SO many of you Lightleaders carry the energetic imprint of the witch wound within your energetic DNA. The witch wound is that wound that remembers persecution and makes us fear our own intuitive wisdom, gifts & power. So what’s happening in the world today is rubbing salt on that wound; its stirring up collective traumas, which can feel so intense. That topic deserves its own episode, but all of this definitely illuminates the polarized world we live in.
So my friends, of course it feels scary to speak your truth in this society. Your fear is BEYOND VALID.
Despite the judgments & persecutions going on around us, we have an obligation to ourselves and to the people we are here to serve, to heal this fear – this block – these wounds – and take our power back. It’s never been a more important time on Earth to speak our authentic truth and share our unique wisdom to help heal the world. So forget the persecutors and focus on the beautiful souls out there seeking your medicine.
Now, let me share more about my experience and how I have been healing this fear of speaking my truth. I have some guidance for you based on what has tremendously helped me in this healing process.
Ever since I can remember, I have been SO hyper focused on how others perceive me. There was always this inner-critic voice within me obsessing over “what are they thinking of me”? Are they going to think less of me if I say this or do that? What if they misjudge me? What if they don’t like me? What if they judge me for expressing myself and sharing what’s on my heart?
Then sometimes that inner voice would say, “Don’t do it Laura… don’t do it, don’t create it, don’t share it, don’t say it, don’t speak up because people might reject you or cancel you”.
And sometimes I wouldn’t say it or do it. I wouldn’t take action on that amazing idea, or share my voice, even when I yearned to because of this fear of rejection. It just didn’t feel safe.
And it led to so much anxiety, inner resistance, and crazaaay perfectionism. I’m talking crazy perfectionism to ensure I would always be met with approval, validation, and praise.
It all felt super super restrictive. I felt it in my body. Our nervous system is wired within our physical vessel and shows up within the sensations of our body. Our body is always showing us what is going on energetically, so when we are about to do something that doesn’t feel safe within we can feel anxiety, density, heart racing, sweaty, shaky, chaotic energy in our chakras. Sometimes we can even go into fight or flight. I would feel so much physical repercussion when it came to speaking my truth… mostly anxiety and heaviness.
When my spiritual awakening began in 2018, I knew there was something there to heal. The first step in healing is always to become conscious of it and to be honest with yourself. There is no shame in admitting these fears and blocks exist. This is powerful, courageous warrior work. This is why many people avoid it … because it takes so much power and courage.
I left my corporate job at Google to pursue freedompreneurship and I had a beautiful opportunity to begin healing this fear of speaking my truth.
My husband and I booked one way tickets to travel the world and my heart was guiding me to begin travel blogging. I felt the magnetic pull to build a website and start writing. I felt all this creative energy being unleashed that had been suppressed from a decade in corporate sales. It felt so fun, exciting, and so expansive! However, when I went to publish my very first blog post I felt such a density… it felt like I had anchors on my ankles. And when I went to post on instagram sharing my new travel blog, I just couldn’t do it… it felt too scary and too unsafe. This blog was just so heart+soul-aligned, that it felt too vulnerable. And of course, I also carried that fear of judgment… like what are people going to think of me because I’m choosing to follow my heart and start blogging? But I processed those feelings and worked through it.
I pushed my blog launch a couple weeks so that I could process and work through the fear. I felt the fear and gave myself some additional time… and then shared anyways.
And once I shared, it felt SO GOOD and SO FREEING. It gave me the motivation to share even more. The more I shared from my heart, the better it felt. I also had so much beautiful support and encouragement.
But… to be VERY HONEST, I also did experience judgment…there were a few people who actually made fun of me for travel blogging like “oh hey Laura the travel blogger can’t believe you left google for that”. A few other people told me my visions of freedompreneurship weren’t realistic, and quite a few people deleted me on social media once I began openly expressing myself.
And this was something I was doing JUST FOR FUN and some people still judged me.
The fact is… there will always be a few judgers & rejectors. I say a few becasue our ego will make it feel like it’s hundreds/thousands of people, but it’s not. It’s only a select few. We just have to stop giving those few people our focus and energy – and instead, focus on the people we are here to inspire. Because LISTEN, when you’re doing something someone doesn’t believe in, or that they wish they could do but don’t believe they can do, it can be extremely triggering for them. For some people, it feels easier to judge you, reject you, or cancel you instead of choosing to be inspired and invigorated by you knowing they can do something similar. You can only meet people where they are. And you’re not here to serve every single person on Earth… you have YOUR SOUL-ALIGNED PEOPLE OUT THERE → THOSE WHO ARE IN RESONANCE WITH YOU!! Those who deeply FEEL your messages within their HEART & SOUL. Those you are here to be of service to. Those you are here to impact. And when you speak your truth… you’re showing up for yourself and them.
And you know what… judgers & rejectors are a universal initiation. The universe is testing us… are you going to let these few people and their judgments + rejections hold you back? Or, are you going to believe in yourself and your higher calling, and keep going for it?
And I kept going. I chose to believe in myself and show up for myself and my heart-aligned people.
And as I kept showing up for myself and expressing myself, I began conquering my fear of authentic self-expression, and I was healing my fear of speaking my truth.
Now lets fast forward to 2020 when I launched my business…
I felt similar energies about announcing and launching my business. I was so worried about how others would perceive me and my new venture. Yet, I processed those fears and I launched my business anyways. I started sharing my online long form writings and sharing messages from my heart on Instagram. It was hard and scary until I started expressing myself over and over again… and it felt less scary and actually started to feel really good.
And now let’s fast forward to this podcast…. once again, I felt similar this is scary and vulnerable AF energies. And in 2020 when I heard the call to podcast. I couldn’t even transcend this fear and these energies because it felt too heavy, too vulnerable, too unsafe. I just couldn’t lift the anchors, so I tabled it.
But this year, I conquered it. I went for it.
I felt the fear and did it anyway. And it’s so liberating
On the other side of fear…. is FREEDOM.
So here is my greatest piece of wisdom today…
Taking action and conquering your fear is the greatest HEALING MODALITY.
I have done so much healing work around this fear of speaking my truth… the quantum energy healings, the inner child work, the shadowwork, which is all super helpful in making the unconscious CONSCIOUS so we can feel it and heal it, which is step 1 of the healing process.
But the most potent healing medicine to conquer your fear is TAKING ACTION.
The only way past it is through it.
We must walk through the fire.
We must be COURAGEOUS and face our fear.
When we feel the fear we have to say f*k it and do it anyway!
Then, we clear the blockages and heal the wounds.
Then, our nervous system starts to feel safer because it feels SO good to express ourselves, it feels SO liberating… and it feels more like second nature. We realize the beautiful impact we are making, and we clear our energetic blockages. Our nervous system settles down and gives us space to self-express.
So my greatest recommendation for how to overcome your fear of speaking your truth is …. SPEAK IT…. sing your song. Be confident in your authentic self, your gifts, and your medicine. Then, these fears begin to heal naturally.
We can only unshackle ourselves, no one can do it for us.
Action is KEY to these shackles.
Let me tell a quick story to put this into perspective …
I decided to start this podcast and knew I was going to record and launch my episode zero on my birthday on March 13th and officially launch on March 23rd. This was my intention and it was set in energetic stone.
So, on March 9th my tonsils like swelled up and my throat was on fire… which was so strange because I never get sick. I had one little cold when I was pregnant last year but other than that I have not been sick in probably 10 years. It was so strange and so painful. When I tuned into it, I felt all this stagnant, pent up energy finally shifting and releasing. When we release energy & clear blockages it can be painful… and this was happening because I was confident and ready to express my voice out loud and my body was responding accordingly by clearing and making space. Then, on March 13th my throat felt SOO goood. I was so ready to SPEAK up and authentically express myself. And after I recorded my first podcast and submitted to Spotify and Apple I felt SO FREE & my voice felt stronger than ever. My throat felt so expansive & clear.
Then, a few days after I officially launched my podcast, I felt this huge PAINFUL release in my SACRAL CHAKRA… something was set free… this is our creative energy center… I don’t know exactly what it was but I feel like I was carrying fearful energy there which was holding me back from creating this podcast for so long… and it released once I launched it.
As we conquer our fear of speaking our truth & we do it, our energetic & physical bodies respond, support, and heal.
So, my loves…SPEAK YOUR TRUTH. SING YOUR SONG. BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR VOICE… FEEL THE FEAR and do it anyway. This is how you heal it.
How can we serve our mission if we aren’t showing up for ourselves & speaking out truth? How can we make an impact on the world? No one can hear us and no one will find us. Especially to all my fellow Lightleaders and freedompreneurs… how will our clients find us? How can they be in RESONANCE with us if we aren’t showing up and speaking up?
And another piece of guidance for also for anyone who is called to create their radically aligned business & journey into freedompreneurship + entrepreneurship… choose a platform or a medium that feels expansive & not restrictive. There are no rules! You might feel like you need to be on every single platform thats out there showing up 5 days a week … but you don’t. Pick 1 or maybe 2 platforms and use your intuition and physical sensations to choose them. Which ones feel really good and expansive to you? I was really into Instagram for a few years and then the energy of the platform just felt a bit restrictive and dense… and I preferred long form writings. Now this podcast is what lights me up. I know many freedompreneurs making multiple 6 or 7 figures who don’t even have an instagram or facebook; they prefer Twitter, Youtube, Insight Timer, or Linkedin, podcasting, or their own blog… so choose the outlet that feels really good to you… that aligns for you.
A final recommendation that I have for conquering our fears is using energetic modalities like astrology or human design to make the unconscious conscious. When we use tools like these, we can see how we are energetically wired and it can give us peace of mind, knowing many of the fears and blocks we experience are part of WHO WE ARE and what we’re here to CONQUER. Astrology has helped me SO much. Astrology mapping is so enlightening. Through astrology, I discovered that I have Chiron the wounded healer in my first house in Gemini – for anyone who isn’t aware of Chiron, Chiron is the wounded healer in our birth chart and based on where he lands, he represents the wound that we experience throughout our life. This wound is the one we are meant to feel and heal over and over again as it pops up in different manifestations throughout our lifetime. And as we become aware of this wound and heal this wound within ourselves, we are then here to be a healer for others experiencing a similar wound ~ to help them heal. Our challenges, fears, and pain truly do reveal our healing gifts and are all a beautiful part of our higher purpose.
My Chiron is in house 1 which is self perception — self-esteem — self-love — self-confidence – how I see myself — & how I believe others see me. This is where my Gemini lives, which brings the wound of worrying how I am perceived; specifically, how my voice and communication and energy is perceived and how my words/thoughts/emotions are interpreted. Gemini is also my Rising sign, which is what I am here in this lifetime to RISE UP TO, which is the sign of communication and word magik. So I am clearly here on Earth to use my voice and my words to make an impact and touch peoples HEARTS and SOULS. I’m also here to help others heal their wounds of speaking their authentic truth and feeling confident in being seen and heard. The irony of it all you guys… we truly do need to transcend all the fears & patterns holding us back to align with our higher calling.
And as I heal my wound I help others heal theirs. This podcast is an embodiment of me doing just that.
Here is my final message for today…
When we don’t take action towards our higher visions/desires/higher callings out of fear of speaking our truth AKA fear of judgment, fear of disapproval, fear or rejection, fear of being seen in our true essence… it will lead to regret. Its a form of self-abandonment. Think about when you’re older and in your very final days of life… do you look back at your lifetime and legacy and think, “Wow. I am so happy I suppressed my voice and true self and higher calling in exchange for lots and lots of approval”. Or, are you looking back at your life and thinking, “WOW… I am so glad I conquered my fears, ROARED MY TRUTH from the mountain tops in CONFIDENCE and POWER. I am so happy I shared my soul wisdom with the world and impacted so many peoples lives with my words. I am so grateful that I showed up as my highest, most authentic self and stayed true to myself and my higher calling.
I’m guessing the latter. So, no more letting the fear of being authentically heard & seen & felt devour you. Its time to show up for yourself and the people who are just waiting to hear your voice.
This is your encouragement to unapologetically speak your truth.