When you feel stuck, it feels like you are drifting in the middle of the ocean without momentum nor a compass.
Oftentimes you know what your potential is, and you have the telescope to see what could be yours from afar. You see all those “things” you would love to experience for yourself, as those things are glistening through the horizon.
You’re constantly on the lookout.
You might also feel the possibilities that are out there beyond your current reach, calling to you from beyond your direct line of sight.
This feeling keeps you curious.
But there is something heavy holding you back from exploring the uncharted waters. This heavy anchor keeps you floating in the same exact spot, staying stagnant in a vast ocean of opportunities. If only you dared to lift the anchors, set your navigation into a new direction, and gain the energy to propel forward without looking back.
This heavy anchor represents a form of fear — a self-destructive type that keeps you floating in place.
Fear is like a swift chameleon that roams our minds; it can mutate into many different forms, and will quickly camouflage according to our environments.
Sometimes our fears run deep because they are born through unfortunate experiences and traumas. Other times, fear sneaks upon us from the corners of our consciousness and holds us hostage.
We naturally carry justified fears that keep us safe and sound — the ones that remind us to wear our seatbelts, lock our doors, and to stand at least a few feet from the edge of a cliff.
We also have instinctual fears that come alive during threatening situations, which send us into a “fight-or-flight” mode. These take form when you’re walking down an eerie street and suddenly feel someone sneaking up behind you — your heart speeds up and your instinct tells you to run for your life.
Then, there are fears that we absorb from our environment and external sources like the media. The media constantly reminds of everything that can destroy us. When we absorb all that’s destructive and disregard all that’s magical, we become more fearful and less freely powerful.
All the fears above stem from the human motivation to stay alive, which are different than the ones that keep you stuck.
The fears that keep you stuck belong to the ego — these are the ones that hold you back from feeling the most alive.
Unveiling Ego Fears
Ego fears include the fear of failure; of judgment; of rejection; of leaving a comfort bubble; of independence; of change; of truth; of loss; of embarrassment; of letting someone down; or the fear of getting your heartbroken.
The list goes on… the common theme is that these fears don’t derive from a life-threatening situation, they derive from your ego’s insecurity. Your life does not depend on the manifestation of these worries. These worries are all related to the possibility that your self-worth and external image might get shattered, so you become stuck.
Ego-fears stunt your growth and lead to inaction. When you let them consume you, your mind starts spiraling around unnecessary self-doubts. What if you fail? What if people think you’re making a mistake? What if you outgrow a relationship? Or what if you miss what used to be?
You decide it’s easier to stay still.
These self-induced limitations drown out your ability to envision your amazing potential. What if you finally find your alignment? What if you meet your life partner? What if you find financial freedom? What if you reconnect with the highest version of you?
What if you no longer need to look back nor forward because you will finally find what brings you happiness in the moment?
Ego-fears hide all your most magical what-if’s, and will only hold you back from finding your limitless potential and universal purpose.
So, where do these ego-fears come from?
There is a natural evolution of fear as we evolve as humans. When we are young kids, we are fearless until proven otherwise. We live by our impulses and we don’t really care what people think about us.
As we grow up, we become more conscious of how we are perceived, and this consciousness makes us more restrained and thus less wild and free. We experience ridicule, judgment, bullying, rejection, heartbreak, and sometimes we are told we just aren’t enough. We begin to dim our light and hide our magic to “fit in” and be accepted. We abandon ourselves in fear of abandonment.
We look in the mirror and instead of seeing ourselves, we see our metaperceptions — how we think we are perceived by others — looking back at us.
We start to feel small.
We begin seeking validation outside of ourselves instead of tuning into ourselves. Our egos mutate into inner-critics and bully us around, so much so that we begin to create overwhelming ego-fears that chain us down and hold us back.
It might seem easier to carry the fear of our fears becoming real while floating in a comfort zone. Even if we don’t have the courage to propel forward, at least we have that comfort of familiarity and we’re free from our egos getting shattered.
But the comfort zone won’t get us very far.
Over time, the comfort zone mutates into stuckness and goes against the universal cycle of change required to evolve. If we resist the changes, we start to get pulled under. We lose sight of the light on the horizon. To avoid being pulled under, we need to face these fears head-on and take control of our fate.
To reach our alignment, we need to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. We need to be fearless.
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams…” ~ Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
As humans, we are here to constantly learn and up-level to reach the highest version of ourselves. When we don’t overcome the stuckness of our egos, we will remain stuck and the anchor will become even heavier with the weight of regret.
How Can You Start Becoming “Unstuck”?
A self-help listicle isn’t always meaningful, but in this case, these simple steps can begin to lift the anchor.
First, stop overthinking.
When you overthink or obsess about the worst thing that can happen, you are torturing yourself. Instead, start imagining the best thing that can happen. Envision yourself in that best-case scenario, and feel the feelings you know you will embody when you get there — like it’s already happened. The best-case vibrations will start to break through, just like the ocean waves.
Trust yourself and your own intuition.
When you get a gut feeling, act on it. When you hear guidance in your head, follow instructions. Tune out all the opinions and beliefs that don’t belong to you, especially the ones coming from your scared ego.
Tilt your head and rotate your perspective.
Explore new places and open yourself up to new people and foreign ideas. Oftentimes, a change of environment and a soulful conversation with a stranger can move mountains.
Let go of limiting beliefs and everything you have been told you cannot do.
You truly have limitless potential, but only if you actually believe it. Think about your personal heroes who have proved to the world that anything is possible. You can do the same, or even more.
Look for universal synchronicities and omens to guide your way.
Pay attention to the signs. These signs can come through as a seemingly coincidental pattern of events, repetitive numbers consistently appearing while you are thinking about something specific, or receiving words from a complete stranger who might be a universal messenger.
Stop seeking validation from everyone else.
You are the captain of your own ship, so don’t let anyone else hold the compass.
Life ebbs and flows, just like the ocean tides. When you conquer your ego-fears and flow with the currents, you will find all sorts of magic waiting for you beyond the horizon.
Originally published on Medium